audrey [oh babe]

Snowflake Challenge #8 - Rec Some Fanworks!

Rec at least three fanworks that you didn’t create.

The hardest part is narrowing the list down!

The 'Do Not Fucking Touch Me' Tour by [ profile] MellytheHun, IT [King/Muschietti], Richie/Eddie -- IT fandom sort of ate me alive back in November, and after I read this story it stayed as an open tap on every device I own until like last week. I've re-read it so many times -- I desperately want to podfic it! -- and it's such a culmination of all my feelings about this fandom, this pairing, and Richie Tozier specifically.

the way a whetstone hones a blade by [ profile] softestpunk, Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types, Emhyr var Emreis/Morvran Voorhis -- this is a pretty rarepair! I hadn't encountered it before. Wonderfully done, so evocative and thoughtful. But Emhyr’s warm eyes glittered as he looked. Morvran had long wanted Emhyr to look at him just like this. They had corresponded while Morvran had been touring the empire and allied states, Morvran sending weekly reports of all the things he’d seen and getting approximately monthly responses and updates on the goings-on of Nilfgaard, and the war in the North. He had been endlessly pleased to have so much of the emperor’s time to himself, especially when his attention had been occupied elsewhere.

Mr. Sandman [Series] by [ profile] pterawaters, Stranger Things,
Jonathan Byers/Steve Harrington/Nancy Wheeler -- grab your tea, lap-oriented pet, and a weekend, because this 300k series is well worth the deep dive. It's a fork of Season One, with a focus on the OT3 romance and relationships, but also does so much work acknowledging the emotional holes in the series to date and working to address them thoughtfully and engagingly. Just wonderul -- while it's not technically finished, the author is solid about finishing up a storyline before moving on to the next. [ profile] pterawaters began posting in November 2019, and has consistently been posting chapters on a multi-day weekly basis over the last three months; I'm beyond impressed. You don't need much if any Stranger Things canon knowledge to read this story, so it's a good entry point for someone new to the canon and/or only familiar with the fandom. Epic, heartfelt, and adventuresome.

Bang to Rights by [ profile] concernedlily, Kingsman, Eggsy/Harry, AU. Constable Unwin never met a tailor before, but he knows this bloke who keeps turning up at his crime scenes ain't one. This was an absolutely fantastic AU; Eggsy became police instead of running petty crime, but still manages to encounter one Harry Hart nonetheless. This story does a fine job of making Eggsy and Harry on more equal footing with one another at first meeting, which is rather nice, and shows us an Eggsy who's gained the experience and confidence he eventually ends up with in the film up-front, as a result of several years as a copper. This AU twist gives the story something more of a James Bondish/Mission Impossible feel, while staying true to the spirit of canon.

Retroactive Hitting by [ profile] Sibilant, Inception, Arthur/Eames -- Inception produced honestly some of the best PWPs out there in fandom at large, and this is a fine example. That’s the behaviour of an Eames who’d thought Arthur to be mildly homophobic, not shy. And Eames as he was then would have had no compunctions about ordering lace panties if it aided his efforts in discomforting a homophobic man. Eames of six months ago knows better. He knows Arthur craves affection like others crave food. He knows Arthur wraps his pride around himself like plate armour, and Eames of six months ago would think such a prank to be a serious misstep because it would leave Arthur feeling betrayed, like he’d exposed himself to Eames, only for Eames to fail to appreciate it. But the Eames of now knows even better. He knows Arthur is not as vulnerable as all that, for all Arthur may be gentle at the core. Eames-as-he-is-now knows that it’s a misstep because Arthur’s sense of shame is non-existent.

Enjoy, let me know what you think!
audrey [oh babe]

Snowflake Challenge #7 - Rec Yourself!

Promote/Rec/Sing the Praises* of Yourself!

This kind of self-affirmation prompt is always an interesting challenge -- I've done versions of this in therapy before, particularly as a CBT exercise to re-frame my experience of ADHD from the negative to the positive. It's always a thoughtful one for me, because I have well-earned self-confidence about myself mixed with some of the ADHD characteristic personality quirks that translates to excessive pride or intentional intimidation on the part of neurotypical people I've worked and socialized with.

  • I'm a strong short-story writer. Most of my work stays under 5000 words, not from any intention to do so, but natural inclination towards concise prose. Usually I'm working to hit a very specific beat, and the story naturally concludes once I've gotten there. At the end of the day, I write for me, and I genuinely do go back and read my own works if one crosses my mind, or a story gets recced somewhere. Often I'll do a re-read when I'm reminded of a story from the daily AO3 kudos email! A couple favorite stories are:

    • Only Inaction, Generation Kill, Brad/Nate -- this one packed a lot of my thoughts and feelings about Brad, and Brad and Nate, together with some of the favorite lines I've written to date. The days he'd thought of all the things he wanted to do to Nate Fick, to the LT, were the days he could concentrate on something other than the body count and the staid British voices rattling out the news on his radio. The nights he'd let himself have the thought of something he'd never allow otherwise meant his two hours of sleep came quicker. None of those strategies had included the scenario of Nate here, seemingly offering everything Brad wanted but thought he'd hidden effectively. It was fucking terrifying to think that Nate was able to read him. No one was able to read him.

    • Come See About Me, Haven, Duke Crocker/Audrey Parker/Nathan Wuornos -- I loved this OT3 so very much, and I poured my feels about them into this story. "Where's my phone?" she asked, scanning the room. "I'll call and tell him to come over right now, we can do this whole thing like you both haven't been playing chicken for fifteen years." Duke looked alarmed and tightened his hand on her calf. "Uh, no?" he said. "No, no, and also, no. There will be no calling of Nathan Wuournos tonight, or any other night that involves your compromised judgement." She grinned at him. "You like my compromised judgement," she said, and was rewarded with his flush.

    • Desperately Seeking Spielberg, Guardians of the Galaxy, gen -- honestly this still makes me laugh every time I read it. It was borne as much from my knowledge of Guardians comics canon as the films and their wonderful portrayals of some of my favorite MCU characters. I started giggling as I was writing, imagining Peter Quill attempting to recall the plots of all those rad '80s moves he would have loved but couldn't necessarily remember perfectly. The combination of aggression and innocence of the rest of the Guardians, demanding the stories, felt note-perfect.

  • I love podficcing and have a blast doing it! I started being trained to read & speak before an audience in elementary school, and my first job was at the local AM radio station in my hometown; as podfic became more normalized in fandom as a fanwork, it was a total hook for me to combine something I enjoy -- reading aloud -- with something I love, fandom. Here's a couple faves:

    • Graduate Vulcan for Fun and Profit [Podfic], Star Trek AOS, gen, story by [personal profile] lazulisong -- one of the few of my own podfics I ever have the impulse to listen to! This was an incredible story, and as I read it for the first time I knew I was going to podfic it, because I could hear every line so clearly in my head. This was just as AOS fandom was beginning its upswing, and all the character voices -- both new and classic -- were fresh in my brain, lending pretty strong voices to the characters in the fic. Of course, I listen to it now, ten years later, and I can hear all the things I wish I could fix, the bad minor edits and some inconsistencies in voice acting, but it's still pretty excellent. It's definitely my most-loved podfic, and still gets the occasional comment or rec here and there.

    • [Podfic of] a distinct lack of tutus, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Rosa/Amy, story by Fahye -- this was a group effort, recorded with a cast of wonderfuls at the 2014 [community profile] bitchinparty. I jumped at the chance to voice Rosa, and I think I nailed it! I listened to it again recently, and was very pleased with how it all turned out.

    • Rudy’s Guide to Auras and Fair Game Play, download link [here], Generation Kill, gen, original story by sparky77 -- this is a qualified rec, because I absolutely fucking love this story and the podfic I did of it, but it's a combination of holes at the moment: it's on my old personal archive but not uploaded to AO3, the podfic file was hosted on the Audiofic Archive but it looks like the file itself was lost in website crash several years back, the story was posted on the author's livejournal which is now locked and was never cross-posted to AO3. Whew. Fortunately I have a backup copy at Mediafire, and you can find a copy of the original story at the Wayback Machine, bless it and give it all your money. I don't have time to coordinate an upload to AO3 at the moment, but hopefully soon. This story is so funny and as such, despite my efforts, I couldn't completely quell my amusement as I recorded this; it still delights and amuses me so so much.

Let me know what you think, or if you've read them before, your memory of the fanwork. ;)
audrey [oh babe]

Snowflake Challenge #6 - Wishlist

In your own space, make a list — anything between one and ten things is a sweet spot, but don't feel constrained by that! - of things that you wish existed in fandom or elsewhere, or that you'd like someone to make for you. Are you dying for podfic of your writing? Do you need icons for a character that doesn't get much fanart? Is there a story you want to read? Are you looking for new canons to get into? Would you like a collaborator for a project?

Maybe you want more people to talk about a certain fandom with, or you'd love to trade ficlets with somebody over email. Maybe you're new to a fandom and would like some recs to start reading, or communities to join. This is the time to ask!

Hmmm. I don't think I've ever really thought of gifted fanworks this way -- when I'm signing up for a challenge I usually try to think as broadly as my interests go, to make it appealing for whomever I'm matched with; I don't tend to think in specifics! But lemme give this a try.

  1. I would really love some Witcher icons, from the game particularly but also from the television show! I haven't seen any but I haven't gone looking, either. I'd love a couple of Geralt icons and Ciri ones too. Links to existing icon posts would be most welcome too!

  2. I've had a couple of my stories made into podfics, and each time it's a treat! I'd love to see more podfic of my work -- maybe Random Acts of Gayness [Hawaii 5-0] or Charm and Fix? I offer blanket permission, just let me know that you've done it so I can link to it, and tie it into the fic on AO3. If the fic is on my personal archive but not yet AO3, let me know and I'll make transferring it a priority. The list of podfic of my fic that I'm aware of is available at the Audiofic Archive, bless them.

  3. Ya'll, I am terrible at AO3 tags. It just has not come natively to me to tag my fanworks. One of my intentions for the year is to knock out posting several more fanworks from my old school personal archive to AO3. I know that one of the barriers to doing this, besides the general tedium, is that when I get to the freeform tags section I draw a blank -- I just don't know what the unspoken tagging conventions are, what would help make the fic appealing for potential readers, what content warnings are appropriate. It would seriously make my year to connect with a couple of people interested in spitballing tags with me, as an incentive to actually follow through on posting my older fic, and to tackle my tag blindness. Maybe a couple of people up for an entertaining chat on Discord or something? This one seems a little farfetched, so thanks for even considering it! xoxo

  4. I love creating podfic, and I'm hoping to re-dedicate myself to the art of it this year by properly dedicating some time to it. One thing that always trips me up a bit is cover art -- I usually make a rudimentary cover in Paint and call it a day. I would be thrilled to collaborate with an artist (clever Photoshop aficionado, digital art, pen and ink -- any method is brilliant!) to come up with the fanart equivalent of a drabble or ficlet. Better cover art would be a super dream wish of awesome.

<3 Thanks for taking a look.
audrey [oh babe]

Snowflake Challenge #5 - Goals

Comment to someone you haven't ever interacted with before or introduce yourself to someone you've briefly interacted with and friend/follow them.

Oh boy, I've been friending and following like crazy thus far into January. One of the things about the fandom diaspora that drives me nuts is that people will have different handles across different platforms, which makes it challenging to know who is who, and whether I want to follow them.

I say this with my handle is the same across all platforms, but I don't mean it in a judgey way. Just a -- my brain struggles to connect several variations on an identity with one another.

So all this posting and linking in [community profile] snowflake_challenge has given me a super useful tool to run into people here that I haven't really followed since the LJ days. Most excellent.
audrey [oh babe]

Snowflake Challenge #4 - Goals

In your own space, set some goals for the coming year. They can be fannish or not, public or private.

I'm not really a goal-setter or keen on resolutions. Collapse )

All that exhaustively said, here's a couple of low-key, chill things that it would be nice to work on in 2020.

  • Kick something out for Psychic Wolves for Lupercalia. It's such a fun challenge and I don't think I've managed to get anything out of WIP and finished into the collection before.

  • In general I'd like to follow through more on writing down the fic I come up with in my head, whether it ends up as drawerfic or on AO3.

  • I'd really like to produce more fanworks as a matter of course. I particularly miss making podfic more regularly; there are artificial barriers I need to knock out to make decent recordings, so that would be a target. I'm hoping too that I'll catch up with my podfic friends at Bitchin' Party this April to do more collaborative podfic -- I *loved* doing that.

  • I'd like to return to a frequent habit of journaling, both on DW and in my hardcopy notebooks. It would be a good practice to get back into.

  • Recently I realized that a majority of the events I've been looking up were musical -- concerts, performances. I want to see more live music, make something of an effort to go out and experience it, if I can hack my body into letting me. I feel so energized after a concert, and that's a feeling I'd like to have more often.

  • I'd like to continue my longstanding project of uploading the fic I've written over the last decade to AO3. It's been slow going, only a handful have made it, but it would be so nice to have everything in one place.

That's pretty good. Just the right level of intentional but not excessively aspirational.

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audrey [oh babe]

Snowflake Challenge #3 - Favorite Communities, Fests or Challenges

Favorite fandom comms/fests/challenges! Okay, this will be select because I cast a pretty wide multifannish net over fandom.

Before the fibromyalgia got debilitating five years ago I was way more active -- generally. I can end it that way, I was more active generally, as a writer and a participant. The last five years have largely changed my fannish habits to those of an iceberg -- partially visible, mostly lurking large beneath the surface. So some of these I once participated in, but haven't in awhile -- but I love seeing the results!

[community profile] narniaexchange, the Narnia Fic Challenge. I'm pretty sure I've been idly yet persistently thinking about Narnia since my parents first read The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe to me when I was four.

Psychic Wolves for Lupercalia, a low-key challenge that just opened for its ninth year, modded by the lovely [personal profile] petra. I love this trope so very much.

#ITPE, the annual #InformalTwitterPodficExchange. This challenge is such a treat, every year. [ profile] ITPE_mod always brings the joy, and hours of podfic joy to one's iPod. (Proverbial or otherwise.)

[community profile] hall_no, The Leonard Cohen Title Challenge (Any Freaking Song but Hallelujah), which was created by [personal profile] minim_calibre late last year. Love the idea, and the parenthetical cracks me up. I've got something on the back burner for this one.

[community profile] bitchinparty, also known occasionally as Pacificon but I don't think I've called it anything other than Bitchin' Party in the last decade. Super thrilled to be able to attend this year with [personal profile] perpetual_motion after a long absence; I had tickets and everything in place for the last one, but fibro's a bitch and takes no prisoners. On the bright side, I was able to pass my registration on to [personal profile] pi, and use some frequent flier miles to send Rhea out there in my stead. That felt amazing, to be able to gift that experience.

[community profile] access_fandom, "improving disability access in fandom". It's a low volume comm, with great posts and strong discussion.

Anything good out there I should know about? Where do you like to spend your time?
audrey [oh babe]

Snowflake Challenge #2 - Talk About Your Fannish History

Oh man, fannish history. I touched on it a little in my last post? Buffy, bulletin boards, mailing lists, etc.

My family was a very early adopter of at-home dial-up internet, which is saying something in rural Appalachian Tennessee in the 90's. My mother worked remotely, and dial-up was a work expense. Being young, feisty, and technically-minded, I became the family sysadmin by default when I was twelve; by the time I was thirteen every minute that wasn't spent in some extracurricular activity -- or, worse, when my mother was working on the computer, or other family members wanted to use the internet [!!!] was spent slavishly devoted to our good ol' Mac PowerPC.

Below, a select early cut from my fandom history.

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You have no idea how nostalgic I am writing this down. Those chatrooms were my ur-fandom: hours and hours just gaming down with randoms from all over the country. I look back now and I was so, so lucky: I was definitely a minimum of five years younger than any other person there, because at 12/13 my writing and speech patterns masked my age; generally people seemed to think I was in my twenties, and my age was a secret I hoarded like a jealous dragon. I was a queer as fuck neuroatypical AFAB tweeny kid from bumfuck Appalachia -- all my worldly knowledge came from the easily thousands of books I consumed with the desperation of a dehydrated Ent. And I unfailingly read as if I was in my early twenties, which was all I longed to be from pretty much the ages of 12 to 19.

Those AOL chat rooms gave me life, and creativity, and exposure to other humans who, somehow, from the magic of Roddenberry's utopian philosophy in Star Trek, treated me like a person, not some know-it-all kid whose closest friend was the librarian. (I joke, I kid; those librarians side-eyed me like the worst church ladies, and I worked to deserve it.)

I found a passion for the ethics of Star Trek that rivaled my own; a dedication and determination to tabletop storytelling that humbled any hubris as a writer I might have been developing; compassion and kinshsip in private chats when I said I was queer for the first time to another person. It wasn't that I found an escape, although it assuredly was escapism -- it was that I found the rest of the world out there, in Star Trek (and Star Wars) AOL RPG chats in the 90's. And that world that I was so desperate and hungry for saw me, and accepted me, and welcomed me; and said: go for it, kid. Be whoever you want to be, not only in the Trekverse, but in the real three-dimensional world, too. Make the 'verse bend around you, even if you only show your colours later in life. It doesn't make them any less true.

Like I said, I got lucky. I never experienced manipulation or predation online, as a tweenager in those early internet days. And as I grew out of what AOL and its Trek-Warsian RPG chats could offer, I stumbled naturally into fanfiction, and from fanfiction into my deeply beloved Buffy message board. It was twenty years ago that I found my Buffy people, my [personal profile] minim_calibre and all who came with. (I can't effectively recall who is on DW and who is not, but know that I adore you none the lesser for it.)

More than two-thirds of my life has been defined, enriched, and elevated by fandom. It is the gift of this life, for me.
audrey [oh babe]

Snowflake Challenge #1 - Introduce Yourself

I kind of feel like a lemming in the sense of -- well, a bunch of my friends are doing [community profile] snowflake_challenge so I'm gonna do it too! Bunch up on that cliff, friends, here I am with ya.

I'm [personal profile] templemarker, same ol' handle on every platform. There are a lot of platforms; I did a decent job of collecting them all on my profile, for reference.

I am hilariously multifannish; I pick up new fandoms like hair ties, forever indenting my wrists. Sometimes it's from the media to the fandom, sometimes it's from the fandom to the media, sometimes it's kicking back and auditing (possibly lovingly mocking) a fandom of a close friend and in the process becoming a fan without ever actually engaging with the media.

2019 was a very good year for interesting, delicious fandoms, for me -- the IT movies, Schitts Creek, a fun uptick of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine around the What We Left Behind film. So many more.

A rocky one too -- The Magicians series 4 finale was devastating in a way that I don't think I'll recover from, fannishly, but at the same time it gave me a truly amazing coterie of friends that I've been chatting with near-daily since March or April. And of course Star Wars IX capped out the year, leaving me feeling more ambiguous about the franchise than at any point in my multi-decade love affair with it, which is just weird as fuck.

I've been kicking it in online fandom spaces for something like twenty-two or twenty-three years, and it amazes me just how much and many incredible fanworks there are. Quality and number both are exponential, compared to back when I started, in ye olde AOL Star Trek & Star Wars chat rooms, Buffy the Vampire Slayer bulletin boards, and mailing lists. There is never a single moment when I don't have something incredible to read, watch, interact with, or otherwise delight me. We can definitely talk about the ways in which fandom has fractured, the ways in which cultures of negativity flourish and are louder than ever before, the ways in which the never-actually-that-bright lines between fans and the media that inspires fannishness have dimmed, often for the worse (though not always).

But stars above help me, I remain a pragmatic optimist, and it never fails to amaze me just how resilient fandom is; how profound fanworks can be; and how much joy I get, every single day, from fandom and the people in it.

Thanks, you know. For sticking around. For being as much of a fanperson as I am after all these years. It means the world.
audrey [oh babe]

an extraordinary uncertainty of judgement [The Magicians 4x13]

Last week's season finale of The Magicians kind of -- drop-kicked my writing brain and activated my analytical brain, in ways that have been hard to shake over the last six days. I've been on an information processing jag, following the various media and viewer and fandom responses to the episode, and to the season, and to The Magicians as a whole. And I've been contributing to others' works and thoughts around the episode and the show, in ways that engage the litcrit academic aspects of my thinking, which are never really that far away to begin with.

I don't really have anything to add that the cogent and courageous [personal profile] greywash hasn't put out into the world -- I refer you to their essay On Fannishness, Intersectionality, & a Whole Other Grab-bag of Entitled Millennial Bullshit on Medium [based of initial meta reaction on AO3] to which I am proud and humbled to have contributed to; as well as their thoughtful response to the Physical Kids Podcast episode from last week, responding to the finale alongside guests Lev Grossman (author of the books on which the show is based/consultant to the show) and Olivia Taylor Dudley (who portrays Alice on the show), which covers all the important points raised in our off-DW discussion of the podcast episode -- available on Twitter or on AO3.

I would also direct you to [personal profile] cleolinda's most excellent essay The Magicians S4 Finale Aired Five Days Ago And I'm Still Mad As Hell, which does serious hero's work compiling a -- well -- a fuckton of links about The Magicians and 4x13, and works through both critical and personal responses to the episode with a vigour and determination I can only admire.

That said, there are a few things in particular that I can't quite shake in my own criticism of the show and particularly of 4x13 that I'm going to call out in this post to look at them more clearly. Just in case -- please note that this post contains discussion of depression, mental health, suicidal ideation, and suicide consistent with its presentation in The Magicians and explicitly in response to the presentation of those matters in episode 4x13, "No Better to Be Safe Than Sorry". It also, of course, contains spoilers for The Magicians series to date. Collapse )
audrey [oh babe]

Notes from 3AM, A List

  • I have a sleep disorder that basically means my body is always trying to be awake during the nighttime hours and sleep during most of the daytime hours; and usually I'm awake for like twenty-thirty hours at a time, and then sleep for 8-11. Its -- challenging? Is that sufficient to convey the situation? It's more or less equivalent to being eternally jet-lagged. It affects .13-.17% of the population -- so pretty rare -- and is probably genetic in origin. The upshot is that I am usually awake when most people are asleep; if I'm lucky the folks in GMT will be waking up only a few scant hours after the folks in PST go to sleep. Mostly though I am alone with my thoughts. 
  • I cannot stop thinking about The Magicians, which I guess is no big surprise, but I've been in analytical mode for the last five days; and right now there is no more Magicians information to process, but I can't get my brain out of analytical mode. Which -- I can't write, despite wanting to write; and I can't read because I'm in the wrong processing space for fanfiction; and I can't (easily) shift out of thinking and wanting to think about The Magicians to finish off my library books. It's like -- my brain is the spinny beach ball you get on a Mac when a process hangs up. 
  • But seriously I have so many things I want to be writing. 
  • Alternatively I wish I could be talking to someone because sometimes that can be sufficient to get me out of one mode or another, but see again, 0300 PST. 
  • I have exhausted Twitter, Tumblr, and Dreamwidth. 
  • Regardless, I have a doctor's appointment at 0715 PST, four hours from now, so -- somehow I gotta get through. 
  • I hope you are all having a restful night's sleep.